Day 35... 5 Weeks! I successfully navigated Thanksgiving.

It's officially been five weeks since my surgery, and I've started back to some desk work.  I'm all-around feeling good!  HOORAY!

Thanksgiving was great.  Enough people told me I looked fantastic, and nobody went in for a giant squishy hug so I was able to navigate my way comfortably through the family crowd.  I did notice that I was scared to even try getting on to the picnic-table bench, for a few reasons... a) it takes a certain amount of balance and torsion that I'm not sure I have, and b) the instability of the bench-- when it becomes like a see-saw if people get up/down at the wrong times-- influenced my decision to settle in a metal folding chair at a card table.  Our family is large, and we always have "extras"so it's not your "traditional" everyone-sits-at-the-dining-table kind of thing.  We're paper plate, backyard party kinda folk.

The dear Aunt who came to stay with me the weekend after surgery... she's the one who hosted Thanksgiving.  I stripped down and showed her my healing progress and she was totally happy!  I know it sounds odd, but she's had breast surgery before (because of cancer), and is very concerned with my healing process.  I wanted her to see that it was going well. A great percentage of my breast incisions have healed completely shut.  There are still 2 little spots where I have that whole "your body is chewing through the sutures" business going on, but they are pretty small.  My tummy suture is still "chewing" at various spots through the middle... but the outer edges are healing up pretty smoothly.

I'm still so impressed at the breast incision healing.  You have to get right up to the nipple and reallllly look to tell there was ever an incision.  It is ridiculously cool that Doc could have taken me all apart and stitched me back together so beautifully.

My daughter and I decided we'd head to the mall at midnight when it opened for Black Friday, but it was just too crowded.  So, we headed to Target.  Also too crowded.  Then we headed to the outlet mall, which had opened at 10:00, so we thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad.  Correct!  We outlet-malled for about an hour then called it quits.  We were tired, even after all that evening-time resting, lol.

I'm finding that where I used to automatically head for the XL or XXL's, I am now in more of a L/XL zone.  Gosh, I can't wait to be able to try on mew pants... although, I mean my thighs are still the same, so that will be an interesting study in fit, for sure.

Since I am still having the crazy nipple sensitivity, I've looked into finding some bras with more cup padding/thickness so it's not like "HELLO HEADLIGHTS!" when I'm walking around in a t-shirt.

This involved measuring myself for bra size.  I'm hitting about 40" around the ribs, and 45" around the widest part of my bust, which places me in a 40DD.  How did I feel when I first measured myself?  I was disappointed.  I wanted to immediately be "small".  Then I was surprised... oh hey, so THIS is what a DD cup looks like on me?  Well it's just really not nearly as bad and huge as I'd have imagined. I threw on a tank top with no bra, and I looked like a pretty hot hippie.

I found some no-wire "t-shirt" bras with a little more nipple coverage.  One, I purchased at Target and the other, amazon.com.

The Coobie Seamless Underwire Bra has not arrived yet, but I successfully and painlessly wore the Beauty by Bali Women's T-shirt Wireless Bra, purchased at Target.

UPDATE: Coobie is by far more wonderful than Bali.  Have not worn Bali again, have worn Coobie several times.  Its inserts allow me to cover unruly nipples yet it's still soft and microfiber stretchy!

Coobie:

Bali:

I'll still be  doing the happy dance when the swelling goes down and the boobs are smaller, don't get me wrong.  Doc explained to me long before the surgery that it can take 6 months to a year before your body is really truly settled in and where it's going to be.  In a later conversation, we talked about how his general rule for new surgeries or any real tweaking is that you've got to be at least a year out from the previous surgery.  Makes good sense.

In my head's fairy tale, the transformation was more like emerging from my lovely chrysalis a perfectly healed butterfly.  Clearly, my head fairy tale is delusional ; )  If you're considering plastic surgery, know that your recovery will nottttttt be instant.  Great results will be worth waiting for.  Patience.

Pain Level

My breasts are still sensitive.  Like... maybe if you had been all-over sandpapered.  Just that extra sensitive-pain that isn't really a "constant" pain, but I'm still preferring the car ride with the pillow barrier between my chest and the seat belt.  I don't feel that I need medication for it, but when my nipples are being exceptionally sensitive, I'll pop a couple of Motrin.  That seems to help.

When I wake in the morning and stand up, I am very aware and it's minimally painful to feel that "letdown" as my breasts adjust to gravity.  Kind of like before the surgery, if I had PMS breast pain.  That goes away pretty quickly.

If I press on them, at any given time, I can still feel sensitivity in the underneath-layers, even just a couple of inches below my collarbone.  My "wing muscles" (pretend you're trying to fly... all those muscles) are sore when I try and use them.

My tummy incision area is not painful at all, nor is my relocated belly button.  My abs are still sore, and when I get up from having been sitting a while, I still have that "pulling" sensation, like I need to stand up slowly or my stomach will rip in two.  Now, I'm sure that isn't what would happen, but it just feels nicer to get up slowly! It isn't as hard to sit in booths at restaurants, unless they are really super squishy booths.

Energy/Strength Level

Energy level is absolutely improving.  I don't need naps, I'm not sleeping all that much more than I did prior to surgery, I can do more than one or two activities a day.  Me and Mr. Right took a little walk around the neighborhood with the dog, and I only really had to ask him to slow down once... and I didn't feel regretful of the exertion afterward.  That was roughly 2 miles.

Strength and range of motion are slowly improving as well.  Being able to reach higher and lower does result in some mild soreness of the new muscles used, but it isn't anything to really complain about.  I don't depend constantly on the "grabber" tool, but I still keep it handy.

I can't carry super heavy stuff comfortably.  I went through clothes and made a donation basket-- just a small laundry basket filled with folded clothes-- but I'm not feeling strong enough to carry something like that around the house.  Folding laundry and hanging up clothes have been great activities for me, since the range of motion varies so much, and this activity is not time-dependent.  We have the taller laundry hampers, which I cannot lift when full, so I devised a fabulous system of "looping a scarf through the handle" and dragging it to the laundry room like I'm a dog pulling a sled.  Works like a charm!  If you have small children, I'd think this would be a highly enjoyable task for them whether you've had surgery or not.

Things I can't do right now:
Bend over to the ground and get a puppy out of  kennel (I reallllly wanted to get that puppy, too... I had to ask for help).  Bend down and get things that are in our lower cabinets, but far back.  Reach high stuff that is sort of heavy.  Lift sort of heavy things out in front of my body (using forearm).  Carry in lots of groceries... a 12-pack of canned Cokes is about my carrying-stuff weight limit.

I would still not be able to lift a child.  Maybe a tiny newborn, but any child heavier than a 12-pack would be out of the question.

Hugging Level

Mr. Right is the only one I'll really hug boob-forward, since he's really good about letting me apply the pressure.  Everyone else is still getting the side-shoulder-hug, or the "I'm gonna hug you from over here" hug that looks like middle school slow-dancing.



Snuggling Level (this section is off limits to relatives and people who don't want to hear about mushy stuff and/or my love life)

Well, there is still no spooning but we did make a good (and might I say relatively successful!) attempt at forking this week.  That's right.  Through the gusset/hole of the compression garment.  On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the best ever, this was like probably a 5.  It was niiiice, but I was totally self-conscious, a little scared I was going to hurt something and have to explain it to Doc, and my movement/active participation was super limited.  I felt funny using certain muscles in the lower abdominal regions.  If you're wondering how this was physically possible given my limited range of motion, well... keep wondering, because I've probably already said too much, LOL!!!

Days 25, 26, 27, 28, and 29... some boring stuff, plus 4-Week Check-Up

Well, I'm kinda getting into the point in the process where there aren't really "daily" healing details, so I might start posting weekly.  Maybe every few days.  I mean I don't know how interested people are in what I'm watching on tv ; )

Big News of the past 5 days:

Baby teething gel on the nipples to help with over-sensitivity:  This works, for like maybe 30 minutes... so, that was kind of a flop, and my nipples smell like cherry baby teething gel.

I slept on my side for the first time.

I still have the ridiculous crick in my neck, even though I went and had a chair massage.

Dealing with the infected tummy incision (more on that later):  I wore regular cotton panties under my compression garment, and attached a maxi-pad to the inside of the panties to soak up anything oozing/weeping from the incision.  This has worked really, really well.

4-Week Checkup:

So Doc looked at my tummy incision "infected" area and immediately told me that, in fact, it was no infection.  My body is such a healing badass boss that it's just trying really hard to "chew up" the different layers of sutures, and the protein byproducts of that process are what we see oozing/weeping.  The concern there, however, is that the external layer can't close up properly and the scar will be less-than-perfect if we let it continue to weep willy-nilly, so he put something like little butterfly bandages on the incision so it'll still be able to leak, but will not separate.

Should the scar be "too big", he can pretty simply fix it in a few months.  He likes my ooze-management technique of the maxi-pad on the undies, so we'll keep doing that while my body keeps eating up that dissolvable suture business.

Here are some steri-strips (wanna really gross yourself out?  Do a Google image search on "steri-strips"):

Evidently I can shower in them and everything.  Hooray!  I'm honestly just happy I didn't have some sort of flesh-eating haywire bacterial infection that would leave my stomach looking like a shark tried to eat me.

I mentioned I was running out of the ScarGuard, and since the breast business is healing up pretty well, Doc gave me some silicone thingees to use instead (the active ingredient in the ScarGuard is Silicone, which evidently has some magical powers where tissue healing is concerned.  It seems to help scars form flatter and smaller.  There was some talk of how Doc studied wound healing at some point).

So, there's an "anchor" shaped piece that goes on the scar on the underside of each breast, then a donut-looking piece that goes around each areola, with a little nipple hole.  Shape is like this:

This is a lot easier than painting that ScarGuard on allllll my incision areas with a teeny tiny brush!  I'm loving it.  Mine are clear silicone, and called "NewGel Silicone Gel Sheeting for Scar Management".  You can see them all here on NewMedical's site.  Doc's helper applied them to me in the office, and I totally haven't noticed them at all.  They're under my bra, and do not seem to have moved.  I'll get an abdomen one when the weeping/oozing stops and the tummy incision starts healing together.

Pain Level:

I'm not having much pain at all where the incisions are concerned.  On occasion, I have itching, but that's a good sign of healing so I try and either tolerate or use Benadryl spray if it's an actual topical itch.  I'm still workin' the Valium if I'll be in large crowds, because I am on super high alert and feel like everyone is a danger to my nipples (which are still on high alert) and belly.  I'm not in super crowds much, though, so not taking much of that either.  I've mostly been taking Motrin and Aleve to work on my stupid neck-crick-pain.

I'm going to attempt some desk work tomorrow morning, which I could have been doing for the past few days were it not for this effing neck pain.  Seriously.  I finally escape the neck and shoulder pain, only to strain a muscle and completely anger my neck and shoulders.  I don't really and truly have the range of motion I need to stretch these muscles the way I want to, so that's kind of annoying.  Oh well...  I'll take this over "flesh-eating haywire bacterial infection" any day of the week!

Energy/Strength Level:

I'm probably back to about 25% where energy level is concerned.  I can walk around the mall or the grocery store then go out to eat, and maybe one more stop then I am DONE.  My default walking speed is totally slower than normal.  I can squat down to the ground and pick stuff up now, but I prefer not to because of the panty/compression garment movement consequences, lol.

I can reach higher things than I could last week.  It's a slow and steady healing process, and I'm finding more patience.  There is absolutely some guilt where this process is concerned-- I'm not able to lift heavy things, do a lot of bending, tackle a lot of household things that I'm used to doing.  Everyone else has to work harder because I chose to do this... but again, here we are.  My family is being awesome about it.  I'm really trying to do what I can, not ask for unnecessary help, not use the surgery as an excuse to get out of doing things and just delegate.

Hugging Level:

I'm still not up for full-frontal hugs with anyone except Mr. Right.  I'm a little anxious about Thanksgiving because there will be family hugging and I don't know if everyone will remember that I had surgery-- or if some people even know.  It's not like I sent out announcements ; )  I know I'll get a lot of, "Oh you look so good!  Have you been dieting?" from the extended family relatives... I think I'll just tell them that while my eating habits have changed, I had 3.5 pounds of breast reduction and some other bonus work done.  I have a huge family, and we're huggers.  I am just going to have to figure out how to intercept and do some early hug detection.

Or I could just wear a shirt that says "4 weeks ago I had my nipples cut off and sewn back on.  Hug me gently", but really... who wants to talk about nipples at Thanksgiving?  Especially nipples to which you are related.

Snuggling Level (skip this if you don't want to hear the mushy part, or if you are a relative of mine):

As you may well imagine, since I just managed to sleep on my side and don't want to hug anyone too hard, there has yet to be any impressive snuggling.  Still plenty of hand-holding and kissing, but the laying-down-action is still at a screeching halt.  While we are sexy people, but the love is there no matter what.  The kindness and gentle touches and sweetness is there.  The compassionate and caring way he helps me with the ScarGuard, or puts lotion on my legs where it's tough for me to reach, or brings me a glass of milk and some Aleve when I wake up in neck-crick pain... that really means a lot to me.

We've gone through very difficult circumstances together before, this is nothing.  It's all physical, and one of these days (please, God who bonded us in marriage, let it be sooner rather than later) we'll get back to the physical lovin' again.  Don't think I haven't been scheming in my head to figure this business out.  You bet your bottom dollar my brain is working.  This is one of those times when the often-joked-about "sex swing" would totally come in handy.  Did I just go there?  Yep.

Day 25: Purging the closet

So, this morning I had to help a friend run an errand.  I had to be kind of a "secret shopper" so I got up, showered, and made myself presentable (hello again, maternity jeans, don't mind if I do!).  She picked me up, we ran our errand, and had lunch.

Once I got home, I decided it was about time to start trying on some of my old clothes to see what I needed to keep, and what I needed to toss.  There ended up being a lot of tops and dresses that no longer work on me, so I purged them from the closet and bagged 'em up.  Some will go to a friend and the rest will probably go to donation.

The jury is still out on pants, since I can't comfortably try anything on at the moment.

I piled up all my old bras and swimsuits (most of which were bra-cup-specific) and put them into a clothing bin... I'll wash them on the "sanitize" cycle in the washer and re-bin them, then figure out what the heck to do with them.

Do you offer people your old bras?  I mean, they were expensive, and there are at least 10 or 12.  Like, no one bra cheaper than $50 or so.  It's not like they're undies that have touched a bodily-fluids part... they're bras.  They touched breasts.  That's it.  How is this really all that different form donating or passing on your old towels or sheets?  Quite frankly, bras are kind of less possible-cootie-harboring contraptions than towels or sheets.

We'll see.  I mean there's always Craigslist.  I don't know of any organizations that collect giant secondhand bras.

I also helped Mr. Right get my Career Day stuff out of my car and into my storage unit.  I absolutely did not lift anything too heavy or over-exert myself in any way.  I am in take-it-easy mode because I do not want to slow this process down.

The swelling in my breasts is definitely going down.  They are hard/firm along the bottom, and I don't know if they'll be like that forever or if that's part of the process... we shall see.  My nipples are not being all crazy-oversensitive as much, so I'm happy about that!

My tummy incision is still showing angry signs, but no more so than yesterday, so I'm staying on the course of antibiotics and we'll see what Doc has to say on Monday (I have my 4-week appointment then).

In other totally interesting news, we had Chinese food for dinner.  I've only taken antibiotic and Benadryl today!  No real need for pain or muscle relaxer meds.  I took some Aleve because I got a wicked crick in my neck from looking over at my friend in her car and talking to her.  That's the first neck and shoulder pain I've had in 25 days, though.  Quite a change from the "every single day" back/neck/shoulder pain.  Benadryl because after I cleaned my tummy incision and gauzed/taped it up, I had an itching fit and just couldn't stand it.  I undid my garment, took off the tape/gauze, and methodically stuffed an old pair of soft panties between my skin and the compression garment.

: )

Day 24: Maternity Pants are the bomb!

So today's "reason to wake up" was a nail appointment.  I was looking forward to trying out the maternity pants and people, they were absolutely the BEST.

None of that wacky buttoning/waistline business.  The tummy panel slid right up over my compression garment and stayed up!  I wore a baggy hoodie and Uggs with it, so I was not at the height of fashion (unless you count "Grunge"), but I was indeed comfy : )

Come to think of it, it's quite unfortunate that Uggs were a post-Grunge fashion item.  They'd have fit right in!

I have felt all-around well.  No need for anything above and beyond Motrin.

The rest of the day is pretty nothing-to-report until dinner time rolled around.  My nails look lovely and I watched a lot of America's Next Top Model since they were running a style marathon on whatever channel that is.  I stripped the sheets off the bed all by myself (very slowly, it's not a contest) and got them into the washer & dryer.  Slow and steady won that race.

So me and Mr. Right went to my favorite suburban Mexican restaurant because it's Thursday, and they make my favorite dish ONLY on Thursdays.

I went to the bathroom, and upon peeling my layers off, I noticed a little bit of "weeping" from my tummy incision was showing through my compression garment. I went ahead and took the garment down and looked at the incision... yep.  The part Doc had thought might be an infection was definitely looking angry.  It wasn't oozing or anything, just kind of looked like the skin was separating a bit and there was a bit of... goo.. that didn't look right.  Since I started antibiotics last night, I know we're already fighting whatever's in there, but I thought I should let Doc know that the situation appeared worse.

I sent him a text (as he requests his patients do if they have questions) explaining the situation, asking if I should go ahead and Neosporin the area.  He said yes, and to not put Scarguard on it until it looks normal again.  SO... back to the gauze-and-ointment for that part of the incision.

I'm still glad I asked!  I took a picture of it for myself, so I can take a pic tomorrow and compare.  Just so I can know if it's getting better or worse.  Just for me.  Possibly for the blog if I can figure out a way to host pics elsewhere so they don't just show up and BLAMMO! surprise you out of the blue.

I know I would NOT want to see someone else's infected incision unless I specifically chose to.

Once I figure that, I'll post some other more in-depth images as well.

Day 24 was, overall, a feelin' good kinda day.  See ya on Day 25!

Day 23: 3-week checkup, and wheeee, maternity pants!

I must be honest.  After I wrote the Day 22 blog, Mr. Right called and I chatted with him about his day, then about how I was feeling with this healing, and how much I missed our intimacy and stuff.  I was upset.  I cried when I hung up the phone.  I was in bed, and I was frustrated, and I was wondering what happened to the way I felt last week?  Why did I feel like I was making so much progress?  Why do I now feel like I'm standing still or regressing?  UGH.  Why can't I be healing-superwoman?

So today I had my 3-week checkup to get ready for today.

I woke up, ate some breakfast, and did some playing-on-the-internet.  I had to figure out what I was wearing to the Doc.

It's chilly, and until yesterday I had been wearing a lot of flowy dresses and didn't have to wear pants.  The long leggings I wore yesterday were suspect since my midsection was sore after Career Day, so I didn't want to go with those again.  I settled for some looser capri length yoga pants that were comfy enough.  I went with big-baggy-sweatshirt on top because it was warm and comfy and hid the lovely compression garment sticking out of my pants.  I ordered two more compression garments that were due to arrive today, but damn if they had not made their way to my front door.  Of course.

I showered but kind of said "to hell with it" where washing my hair was concerned.  Dry shampoo is my friend!

I was thinking hard about why the wind had gone out of my sails.  I am getting a wider range of motion.  I can squat down and bend enough to pick things up off the floor, or plug stuff into the wall.   It's easier to reach stuff that's high up, so I am doing more reaching.  Maybe my increased abilities, coupled with the fact that the numbness is subsiding and feeling IS coming back, are the culprit.  So maybe I am progressing, it's just that I am in less of the la-la-land than I have been.

I want to be an over-achiever, and to be commended for it.  I want people to be mesmerized with my power to heal and emerge unscathed.  I want to think I'm not "average".  Why?  I don't know.  We talked about impatience yesterday ; )

So once I got to Doc's, I took off all my cozy layers and put on the soft pink rosy exam gown.  It's like being back home.  Ahh.

When you're asked, "So, how are you feeling?" in the doc's office, you can really unload, and unload I did.  He gave me the, "Hey, it's only been 3 weeks!  Everybody always seems to think they'll heal faster than we tell them."

So basically, don't get mad at yourself for not being over-achiever-healer because in reality, you're doing GREAT, silly woman.  My tummy incision was looking red above and below, more than Doc cared to let go without a course of antibiotics.  He said it could be the sutures kind of irritating one another, but there was one spot that was "weeping" a little so he threw me on a course of Bactrim, in case something was going on.  He didn't seem worried, since the redness was so localized.

I asked him about my crazy sensitive nipples, and if it would be okay to try putting baby teething gel or something on them, just to desensitize them.  He said I could definitely try, and to report back.

Since there was a prescription being called in, you might be able to guess the next stop of the train, TARGET!  This is also my pharmacy, so I actually had a pure reason for the visit ; )  Once I made sure they'd received the faxed prescription info, I shopped while they filled it.

First stop, baby teething gel.

Next stop, comfier pants.
I shopped around the workout section, but nothing looked very waist-comfy.  Everything's made to hold up to the rigors of working out.  Meh.  I made my way to the pajamas, but nothing there was really outta-the-house-presentable.  I went to the normal clothes, looking for some track pants or something, but in my pickiness, I snubbed my nose at velour.

Like a beacon in the night, I saw it.  LIZ LANGE MATERNITY.  Ohmygah, super stretchy waists!  YES!  I found a pair of maternity jeans, tried them on, and they worked like a charm.  They don't look like "mom jeans" (which is like, the height of irony, right?), they're long enough, hooray!

As long as I wear a shirt long enough, it hides the little lycra panel so it's alllll goooood.

Mr. Right was home when I got home, and we ate dinner in.  He fired up the fireplace, and I snuggled up really close to it and took some of the prescription meds and melted into the rest of the night with him watching Duck Dynasty.  Oh, sweet soft fleece pajama pants.  Snuggly house-shoes.

I felt so much better at the end of today.  I'm going to try and do a little bit of desk work tomorrow and finish up a couple of projects.  I also have a nail appointment, where I will wear my fashionable new jeans.

: )

Day 22: Career Day, I think I overdid it again maybe... and I miss being able to snuggle.

So I woke up at 7:30ish this morning because I had committed (a while back) to doing a career day presentation at a local school.  It was really cold outside, so I had to rethink my wardrobe choice, which was okay but I also had to reach up really high in the closet to get to the bin my comfy sweater was packed in... which probably wasn't the best idea ever.  Ouch.  I went with the big comfy sweater and some athletic leggings (they're all black, so they looked fashiony enough).

We had packed the car last night so that there would be no carrying-of-stuff this morning, I knew Mr. Right needed to snooze in a while because he had a long day of work travel ahead of him.  I got ready, and with it being cold, my left nipple was REALLY being crazy and sensitive, so I took some Motrin on the way out the door.   Seriously, left nipple, you have GOT to calm the heck down.

My fantastic helper friend met me at the school and took care of the heavy-thing-transporting, got us checked in, and helped me set up everything in the room.  We walked back to the cafeteria where the students were assembling, listened to the opening presentation, then walked back to the classroom where we'd set up.

No, I am not a professional cupcake model, but this blog is anonymous so that's what you get, lol.

I talked to three separate "classes", each of which lasted 30 minutes.  I stood up and talked, I sat down and talked, whatever felt comfortable.  It didn't involve a great deal of physical effort, really.  The kids were GREAT, I loved talking about my job, and my fantastic helper friend threw out candy whenever someone made a good comment or asked a question, so the flow of conversation was lovely.

My helper packed up for me so I didn't have to do much bending and barely any lifting.  We loaded up the car (she loaded the car) and we went to the lunch they provided for us.  By this point it was like noon, and I was getting very tired.  My breasts were feeling really heavy and I needed to get home so I could take some medicine.

I've kind of been slowly trying to do more in the way of bending/twisting, and use my abs to sit up in bed instead of the log-roll out of bed... stuff like that.  So... they're sore.  It may have also had to do with the leggings being low-waist and bugging me at the tummy incision.  I don't know.  I've really gotta figure out what to do about colder-weather clothing.

I'm a little discouraged because I really thought that by 3 weeks, I'd be able to do more.  I didn't think I'd need meds.  I want to be super crazy awesome healer-upper-lady and instead I'm just kind of right where your average bear should be a this point-- overachiever left nipple and all.  I am not yet doing intricate you poses and seeing that fabulous six-pack.  Gosh.

I think I'm also missing the cuddly-snuggly nature of my relationship with my husband.  I just want to be able to lie next to him all spoony and stuff, or to be able to wake up in the morning and roll over and snuggle up on him.  We fall asleep holding hands most nights, just because touch is comforting (and because we're so adorably cute like otters).

  I'm not gonna lie, we're very touchy hands-on people, and I miss that so much it almost makes me cry.  He's out of town this evening and it is making me totally weepy; I miss him so much. It's got to also be difficult for him, I mean, he likes to hug and love on me too... and he doesn't know what he can and can't do and he doesn't want to hurt me.

It's totally my fault.  I wanted to do this.  I did this, and there are no regrets on having had these procedures because moving forward, it will be wonderful.  I just feel like I'm robbing him of intimacy and solace of snuggling and the release and security of being held.  I want to do whatever it is I need to do so that I can heal up and be more comfortable, and go back to being the snuggly wife I was before.

For your viewing pleasure, more gratuitous otter love:

We'd like to plan a trip to go spend some time together (did I mention my surgery was 2 days before our wedding anniversary?), he's got some vacation time that he needs to use up by the end of the year.  I don't know what I'll be ready for in 3 weeks.  I don't know if I'll still tire easily, if I'll be able to pull a suitcase, I just don't know.  We'd talked about going to Boston to see a friend, then maybe to NYC for a couple of days and staying somewhere nice, seeing the sights at Christmas time.  We don't have to decide now, we can be totally spontaneous and go where the wind takes us, or we can just stay at home (you know, like we've been doing for the past three weeks).

I just need to be patient, and do what I'm supposed to do, and let myself heal.

Ohhhhh why is patience so hard?

Aaaaaand look what I found, while looking for a cute little smart-ass picture to post about patience... something that actually means something, and is quite appropriate.

Three Weeks! Day 21... well, I was really tired. Also. I shaved my legs!

Day 21 was yesterday, but I went to bed without posting.

I woke up at about 8:30 (why? why did I wake up?), washed up, walked around, then I got pulled into a long marathon of that show "Long Island Medium" where the chatty lady talks to dead people and reassures live people that their loved ones "on the other side" are okay and happy and with them.

I've lost some loved ones.  I was watching it all fixated and crying like a baby because I wanted to hear those things about MY people on the other side.  Also, she is like the queen of bump-it hair.  You cannot stop looking at that HAIR.  There should be a whole show in just Theresa doing her hair.  You can't help but love this woman in all her sweet obnoxiousness.  Listening to her talk is my fave.

Then my friend called.  She had a breast reduction scheduled, but was having a doctor debacle and some real scheduling complications and just needed to talk, so we chatted like forever.  We talked about my procedures, cost, my outcome and recovery, etc.  Just a lot of surgery talk.  Then, of course, we talked a little about Long Island Medium because it's an excellent conversational topic.

I decided since my cats were gonna starve without my help, I needed to go grab some cat food.  I got home, fed them, fed myself, and holy cow I was all of a sudden just EXHAUSTED.  I sat down on the couch zoning out for like 45 minutes, kind of nodding off here and there, then Mr. Right got home.

I laid down for a nap around 4:30 and woke up at like 8:00 pm.  What the heck?  All I did was go out for freakin' cat food and talk on the phone.  Anyway, my body was telling me "sleep" so I did.

Mr. Right was hungry, but I kind of just wanted to sleep and wasn't hungry, but we needed to go to the store, and I should eat dinner.  Then it was "What do you want to eat?" and "I don't know", so I told him just wherever was fine, since I wasn't hungry.

We went to Hooters, and it was really really loud since it was Monday night football, so I ordered a couple of drinks to take the edge off.  That was probably the best decision I made allll day.  We hit the grocery store, then came home and he helped me load up the car.  I had a Career Day presentation the following day at a middle school.

I also showered in the evening because I knew there was no way I'd be able to be somewhere the next morning by 8:15 if the morning had to involve showering.  Pants are still not comfy, so I planned to wear a dress, so I SHAVED MY LEGS!  For the first time in 3 weeks.

Finally utilizing that shower chair to actually sit on, I shaved my legs.  Life is slowly getting back to normal!  Reaching the left side of my left leg was a challenge, because I'm right-handed.  That's probably the least-shaven part but the rest of my legs were pretty smooth.  I even had my sweet husband put lotion on them after he painted me up with Scar-Guard.

For whatever reason, I had the hardest time getting to sleep last night.  Maybe because of the 4-hour nap?

Day 20: Went to a movie, chatted with a surgery buddy

So, Day 20 was largely uneventful as far as my surgical recovery.  We had planned to go to a movie at noon, in the big comfy reclinery theater where I knew I'd be comfortable.

We bough tickets the night before, and Mr. Right decided we needed to get to the theater really early and stand in line since it was a new movie.  This required an orchestrated wake-up time so I could shower and stuff, get my Scar-Guard painted on, get comfy in wearing something, blah blah blah.  That worked out well, yay us.

Well, we got there about 40 minutes early.  There was no line, and upon entering the theater we found that about 12 other people had the same "let's get there really early" thought.  SO... a good 40 minutes of random movie theater songs/commercials.  The movie was great, and we went home.

I got home and my daughter said that while we were gone, my neighbor J had come by and said she heard I'd had surgery, and she was making dinner for us tonight!  My daughter, being a teenager, had encrypted the message so that I wasn't totally sure what was up so I walked over to J's house.

She was busy chopping and cooking and slicing and dicing, all for us.  SO SWEET!

I stayed and chatted with her (and her husband), and while it was cooking she showed me around her house.  Such a sweetie.  I'll have to find something really, really nice to do for her.  The dinner was delicious-- she made us a pasta dish with fresh herbs from her garden, and a beautiful fresh fruit salad all arranged cute on a platter, and cheesy bread.

Once we had eaten, i was kind of done for the day.  TIRED... so I laid down in bed.

A friend of mine has also undergone some surgery recently-- she had a "lower body lift".  They removed/restructured parts of her abdomen (all the way around, "belt line"), butt and thighs.  I texted her to make sure she was up, then gave her a call and we had a nice conversation. It's good to talk to someone a few weeks behind me, and to be able to tell her about the little things I did to help, and help her know that it'll get better every day.

: )

Day 19: Life without drains, still a smidge itchy, and my incisions look angry.

So today I woke up all grumpy and crampy and such.  I woke up late (it's the weekend, who cares?) and couldn't find anyone in the house... which is totally what you wanna find when you wake up all grumpy and woe-is-me.

I'd survived my first overnight period + compression garment experience, so that was a definite plus.


I got up, made some oatmeal (in the meantime, calling to figure out where the heck my family was), then decided I really just wasn't hungry so I stuck it in the fridge.  I took some motrin to help with the crampy business.

As I tend to do at least once a day, I checked myself out in the mirror to see what all my incisions and holes look like, and how I'm looking in general.  The bruisey-color in my breasts is really settling to the bottom of them... they're totally normally colored on top, but then the bottom of them look all reddish-purplish (the itching is subtle, but not nearly as ridiculous as it was yesterday).  On my abdomen, most of it is returning to its normal "really pale" color.  A good centimeter or so above and below my tummy tuck incision, the skin is also realllly red.  Almost angry looking red. It was that color when I was in to have my drains removed and Doc saw it, so I'm assuming it's okay and just part of the healing process.  I see no signs of infection (nothing oozing, no puffines or pain) so I'm not alarmed.

The holes where my drains were: these are kind of crusting over well, I've had gauze on them since the doc appointment, but changed the dressing today even though I didn't shower.  I can't handle the thought of 2-day old drain-hole-ooze-gauze.  Yuck.  I cut a mini-pad in half and taped it over the holes, which seems to be working.

It's a whole new world when you can just wear normal clothes and not worry about finding a place to hide drains!  HOORAY!

Also, my college football team had what can only be described as a "totally kickass" day today. THAT WAS AWESOME.

The kids were otherwise occupied, so Mr. Right and I went out for a lovely suburban Mexican restaurant dinner.  I even had a margarita (I haven't had any of the prescription drugs today, so I decided to go for it)!

We have plans to et up and see the new James Bond flick at noon tomorrow, so I'm calling it an early night.  I need my 10 hours of sleep, plus some time to shower and stuff in the morning.

Sometimes, it's like planning as thought I'm an infant...lol.  Need lots of sleep, need to get cleaned up, need to take care of the uncontrollable mess leaking out of me... then we can leave the house.

I'm super excited-- especially after the evening of chips, dip and fajitas-- to be cleared to start working out.  I don't want to walk away from this fabulous tummy tuck operation only to develop another gut.

Nighty Night!

Day 18: Super itchy and DRAINS ARE OUT!

Today is a turning point in my recovery journey!  I was producing less than 25ml of fluid per 24 hour period from each drain... so I called Doc's office, gave them my numbers, and they told me I could come in and have the drains removed today at 1:15!!!!

Time for a good old fashioned happy dance!

So I had lunch with my friend at around 11:30, we chatted for a long time and I'm glad, because it made the time pass quickly.  I also enjoy talking with her, so you know, double bonus.  We were done, so then I drove around a little bit and headed to Doc's office.

What Drain Removal is like:

Doc didn't even have me get gowned up, since I had a flowy dress on that I could just hike up for him to have abdominal access.  I laid back on the exam table, and tried not to look.  He clipped the stitches holding the drain in place, then gave me a "1-2-3" and pulled it out.  It didn't hurt, it just felt realllly weird... so I said, "Ok, that is the weirdest thing I have ever felt in my life.  I feel like you just pulled a slimy piece of spaghetti out of me!"

Evidently that's what everyone says.  Or some say it feels like a snake slithering out, but yuck.  I keep conjuring up the image of a pool overfilled with eels or something.  Just a slimy-noodle-pulling feel... from a place inside you that your'e totally not used to really feeling anything.

So then I told him when he pulled out the other one, to let me see it before he dropped it in the trash.  I was curious to know if it looked like the one I found in my online image search for surgical drains, lol!  Indeed it did not.  

The one I found online looked like this, with the flat part being what's inside you collecting your goo:

The one I had looked like this, with channels along the side instead of the little holes.  Doc said the ones with holes get clogged up too easily... Mine actually reminded me of a straw.  The sides are kind of fluted:

 

They weren't icky or bloody or gooey or anything.  So, while very strange, that was way easier than I expected.  I thought it would hurt at least a little.  The second strangest feeling in the world is moving around once those drains are out...lol.

He put gauze over the holes where the tubes came out, and taped it down.  I just need to keep gauze or a maxi-pad over them in case they leak goo a little, and that's about it.

I have my 3-week appointment next week, so at that time we'll determine when I'm allowed to take a bath.  My assumption is that those holes need to seal up before I can sit in water : )

Itchy Boobs

My breasts are starting to un-swell noticeably.  They are also starting to itch like CRAZY... which is funny because the skin on the bottom of my breasts is numb, yet I still feel like it's itchy.  If I try and scratch it, I can't feel a damn thing.  Evidently it's those nerves kind of trying to re-lay their map and figure out what's going on.  I hope they learn soon, it's driving me bonkers!!!!

I'll try some cool washcloths to see if I can get any relief.  I promise not to claw my new cute breasts off.

Day 17: The Mall! Oooooh I can't wait to buy pretty bras.

Today I needed to go get some undies to wear with my "gusseted" (which means "has a big giant crotch hole so you don't have to take it off to go to the bathroom") compression garment, in anticipation of good ol' Aunt Flo.  Since 5 pounds of my tummy are gone, My old undies are not so snug anymore.

My main concern was... are panties going to stay up when worn over the compression garment (let's just call it a CG from on on, shall we)?  Will they slide down while I'm walking around, and be falling out the bottom of my dress without me noticing?  We'd just have to see.

I stumbled into Soma Intimates to check out what was up.  I'd tried Victoria's Secret, but quite frankly that place is overwhelming when you aren't prepared, and all I wanted to do was look at pretty bras and lingerie.  None of the functional undies there were keeping my attention.  Everything is all hipster and whatnot, so that didn't seem like a good solution to the over-the-CG issue.

Soma however, seems to be marketed to the older-married-lady crowd.  Some beautiful things that seem well-made, but nothing too "Pussycat Dolls" if ya know what I mean.

I explained to the salesgirl (who was also far less intimidating that the lovely Russian-accented model of a sales associate at VS) that I'd recently had abdominal surgery and needed undies that would stay up well when worn over a lycra garment.  She introduced me to the wonderful world of... these babies:

They may appear to be regular undies, but the butt cheek/panty line area is actually lined with little bitty lines of silicone!  Soma calls it "vanishing edge", since it's a no-panty-line concept that doesn't give you a wedgie.  We'll see about all that, but the thought of it not slipping up into the gusset of my CG (or down off my butt) was thrilling!  I bought 5 pair, so we'll see how they work.  For more info, here's the product link.

Before I left to go to the mall, I had a lovely little surgical drain tube guffaw.

So, I'm up, washing my face, thinking "Oh hey, I think I'll actually put on some makeup today!" and "Maybe I'll go to the MALL!".  That will be my outing, my exercise.  WHEEE!  I won't get my heart rate up or walk too fast because I'll just stroll and window shop.  I'm hanging out in my bathroom, in my CG and bra, drains safety pinned to my CG, tubes all hanging out because I hadn't gotten to the point of actually dressing just yet.

Suddenly there is barking insanity outside, and I realize that it's Thursday and the pool guys are here.  My dog is in the backyard barking his head off at them (from a safe distance of course, he doesn't actually want to get involved, just warn them that it's HIS territory).  I turn to go to the back door to call the crazy mutt inside, catch my drain tube on the handle of my makeup drawer, and proceed to completely yank the drawer out of the vanity, sending it smashing to the ground, makeup everywhere.  I broke the side off the drawer.  YAY!

Welllll crap.  I can't bend over and pick all that stuff up!  Luckily the CG had a tight grip on my drain tubing, so I was fine and there was no issue with the site where the drain enters me.  Nope, that sucker is stitched in there with PURPOSE!  And thank Heaven.

I decided I'd just leave it until later when someone was home to help me.  About 10 minutes later, I heard Mr. Right upstairs in his office talking to the dog, lol.  I had no idea he was home!  He came down to survey the damage and helped me clean up.

Man, I am really truly going to bankrupt us buying bras once I'm all healed up.

I guess before, I just kind of turned a blind eye to everything in lingerie stores because it was like looking at food you can't eat.  Today, walking around amongst all those B and C cup beautiful things, ooooh I just want to fast forward time to when I'm healed.  I want to have nice beautiful luxurious bras where matching panties are an option!  I want to be able to buy beautiful luxurious silk and French lace old-Hollywood-glam nightgowns to parade around in front of Mr. Right.  I want him to be able to buy gorgeous lingerie for me, things he wants to see on his wife...  or as he'd say, "Crumpled up in the corner".  He's a charmer ; )

He's always said he's not interested in lingerie, that he's interested in me... but I've proven him to be quite wrong on occasion.  Spice is nice.  I'm just really excited to have a whole new world from which to fill my bag of tricks!

Days 15 & 16: Condensed because it was Election Day and I took it easy!

DAY 15:
Well, after my overdoing-day-14, I pretty much sat in bed a lot on Day 15 and watched HGTV.  It was election day, so I tried to stay away from news stations and stuff.  I'd already early-voted so I wanted to wait until way later and then watch for results.  Once the episodes of "House Hunters" began repeating themselves, I turned off the tv and broke out my Kindle to read my book.

I had to get up and go cart kids to and fro at about 3:00, so I just flat out took it easy until then... went and got them... returned some stuff at Target... then came home and made dinner.  Easy peasy, I made spaghetti.

I was raging hungry for sweets after dinner (hello PMS!), so I ate a little mini-haagen-daas pop and then some sorbet.  I was still hungry, so I had an orange.

My new compression garment had arrived, but I didn't feel like dealing with it so I just shelved that sucker for tomorrow.  It's kind of like a sleeveless leotard with the boob part missing... straps and all.  SEXY!  

DAY 16:

Well, we stayed up forever watching Big Bang Theory and the election last night, so I slept in for a long time this morning.  I'm pretty sure I slept until like 10:30...lol.

I did some reading, had some breakfast, and read some more.  Nothing too industrious, as I'm still industrious-shy after Monday's aftermath.  Walking around the house was about it for me.  Eventually I showered, and Mr. Right painted my Scar-Guard on me, then we tried out the new compression garment.

It feels a lot better, because it's providing some compression higher up on my abdomen.  My other garment is just not made for tall people!  I'm not 100% on the snap-crotch of this new one though.  I can't get it fastened by myself because of the bendy-ness that requires, so I have to call in Mr. Right.  I can really only wear this one under supervised circumstances right now.  Argh.

Also, it kinda cuts at the thigh, because the good Lord above blessed me with thunder-thighs.  I'm looking forward to being able to work out again soon so I can work on lessening their girth.

I've been wearing it for a good 3 hours now.  Love the top, don't love the bottom!  I'm starting to think I need  a combo of this one and the other one.  I prefer the open-crotch.

Giant bonus:  soon I get to figure out how to deal with compression garment + drains + period!

I'm thinking the crotchless garment with panties worn over the top is probably going to be the answer.  I'd previously thought I needed a garment with a crotch in it, but snapping myself up is just too hard.  I guess another option is wearing the crotch-snapper thing and just pulling the whole garment down when I need to go to the bathroom.  I'll keep you updated.  I know you just CAN'T WAIT.

Went out to dinner with the family tonight but that's as exciting as it got.  Now me and Mr. Right are sitting in bed watching Duck Dynasty.  Ahh, quality time.

Day 14: 2-Week Doc Visit, and I was way too industrious.

Today I had to wake up and get my little guy to school since Mr. Right had to go into the office.  No biggie, I'm driving, I haven't been on any drugs, this was a life-responsibility I could handle.

I got home and was just full o' pep.  I decided to see if I could put on my running shoes and socks-- success.  I decided I'd take the dog for a nice long walk because I wanted to get my blood pumping, and see the far side of the neighborhood we recently moved to.  According to my little mapping site,  went 2.29 miles with my fabulous dog.  STILL FEELIN' GOOD!

Once home, I realized I had a specific work project whose deadline was today, and I could get it done in time to shower, get ready, and get to Doc's by 2:00 for my checkup.  For the first time since the surgery, I sat in my office chair and worked at my computer, manipulating equipment with both hands, doing a little twisting, sitting up for about 2 1/2 hours.  DONE!

Next, I took a shower all by myself... including throwing my compression garment in the washer and dryer on the speed cycles in the midst of the showering/readying.  Out the door in plenty of time, arrived at Doc's as scheduled.

After that walk, I had downed about 900 gallons of water.  My drains were so full.  Dammit.  I know he's gonna tell me I have to keep them in another week... grrrr.

Checkup went well.  I got a new drain chart because my old one was all full.  Gosh what a TREAT.  Yep, keeping the drains another week.  Doc's wife looked at me like I was a crazyperson when I told her I walked just over 2 miles this morning.  Evidently that wasn't such a good idea.  I'm not supposed to get my heart rate up right now.

Oooookkaaayyyy.  Ok.  I won't go brisk-walking again until they tell me it's ok.  I'm fine!  See?  It's all good.

After this, I needed to eat (I'm probably PMS'ing and the ravenous appetite from my morning walk was rearing its ugly head) then head to my son's football game.  I Drove through Taco Bell, went home, wolfed down three tacos, and then it hit me.

Complete, utter exhaustion.  Pain, like my whole chest and abdomen were just... ultra-sensitive.  My upper abs almost feel like they're bruised.  Just sore, sore, sore.  All I wanted to do was lay in bed and close my eyes and scream to Doc's wife that she was right.

I had overdone it.

One Valium, one Vicodin, and two hours later, I was relaxed in bed, feeling much better.  I need to remember that I got all ripped apart and sewn back together two weeks ago and I am not superwoman.  This isn't a contest about ability.  Walking a feisty dog then working at your computer will stress recovering abs.  Showers and driving take energy and core muscles, and they stretch the skin around your new breasts.

Lesson learned!  From now on I will walk shorter distances, not holding the frisky-dog leash, at a STROLLING pace, not a fitness lady pace.

Also, I will keep the big ol' rest-and-recuperate, be-leisurely thing up.

So, the start of week 2 might have been a little too industrious, but hey... now I know.

Days 12 & 13: Well, not much to report.

The weekend was... pretty boring and uneventful : )  I watched some football, and kind of finally got comfy sitting on the couch when I was propped up the right way with a pillow!

Still can't lay flat in bed.  Still have drains. Definitely getting the appetite back!

Went out to eat with the family and other than some Motrin for "nipples that feel everything", I was pretty drug free for the weekend.  I did take half an Ambien on Saturday night because I just could NOT shut it down, man.  2 a.m. (well really, 1 a.m. since it was "fall back", ha) and I'm trying to figure out what the little faint noise is, waking up my husband.  That's when I decided it was time for some modern medical convenience.  Problem solved.

Sunday I got up and did some light cleaning around the house, nothing much else until the evening, we went out to dinner with the kiddos and grocery shopping at... Target.

I could even shut my own hatch on the car with a little creative effort.  Things are lookin' up!

Day 11: Driving! Mani/Pedi, Target, and Voting

Well, I woke up today and got ready for the long-awaited mani/pedi!  No more grody feeeeeeettttt!!!!

My nail lady was so happy to see me, and super sweet, and told me another of her clients had a tummy tuck and wasn't nearly as mobile and good looking as me and she was 4 weeks out.  Well, I hope she's healing up ok, and thanks for the confidence boost!  I was able to get into the pedicure chair and sit through it, plus sit in the regular chair for a manicure with no problemo.

Post-beautification, my number one destination was Target.  I needed to pick up a prescription, and I needed to see what was on Halloween clearance.  MISSIONS ACCOMPLISHED!  The checker was nice and helped me get stuff out of the basket.  She bagged everything light so I could get it into the car.  They offered an escort and helper to get things into the car, but me being the independent stubborn soul that I am... politely refused.

I got everything in the back of the car, and realized that I could not reach up high to close the hatch (I drive a small SUV), and pull down with enough force to get it closed.  Well crap.  So I hung out and waited for a nice Target shopper to walk by and asked nicely.  Problem solved.

I was also going to head to Home Goods to see about some Halloween clearance, but it had been a big morning, so I decided I was going HOME and then taking a pain pill and a valium.  Do we sense a pattern? I can make it through a good 4-6 hours of light industriousness, but then I gotta hit the meds to get me through the rest of the day.  I don't want to drive on the meds.  Reminder:  Sweet talk Mr. Right into filling up my car with gas soon.  Running low.

DRIVING:  I've found that the seatbelt is a little bit irritating to my breasts, and also somewhat odd/uncomfortable (yet not really "painful") across my stomach.  The tummy just likes pressure.  I have solved this problem by placing a mid-sized pillow between me and the seatbelt.  WORKS LIKE A CHARRRRRM.  It's tall and wide enough to cover my breasts down to my belly.  It's soft and fleece.  I bought it a long time ago and it's my "car"pillow that I keep in there if the kids want to nap on a long trip.  Find something that works for you and by all means, work it!

Here is my ridiculously ugly pillow.

I didn't buy it at a store or I'd tell you where to get one.  I bought it at a little craft fair/market day at my son's school one year.

Later, (post-drugs!   feelin' fine!) me and the fabulous husband/chauffer went and early-voted (LOL, saw Doc and his wife in line), then went out to eat.  I'm far more comfortable sitting up at a restaurant table today than I was yesterday.  PROGRESS!  We even went out to Pinkberry for a little fro-yo date after.  We're fancy and exciting like that.

Day 10: Driving Makes my Boobs hurt.

Mr. Right and I went to lunch today and since it was close to home, I decided to try driving.  It worked, I felt good about my ability to operate everything and was aware enough... but then we got to the restaurant and I was ouchy!  I guess the amount of twisting and muscle use was more than I'd estimated : )  Luckily I'd brought my pain meds along so soon enough I was feeling alright again.

After that, we hit up Target for a few grocery things and came home.  I had not considered the limitation of being unable to unload the things that fall deep into the grocery cart.  I can't bend and reach like that.  No big deal, as there was help.  I did something else I've never done before, I bought some cute stretchy colorful soft-cup bras AT TARGET!  I'm living the dream.  The world of cute cheap bras is a beautiful place.  SUPER comfy.  They're microfiber, so they don't have rough seams like the front-closure ones I have.  Sometimes I'm picky like the "Princess and the Pea" princess.

At home I unloaded the load of towels that was in the dryer... I used my grabber to get them into the laundry basket, then pushed it with my feet to the bedroom.  Mr. R emptied it on to the bed for me, and with the use of the grabber I was able to fold everything and put it away!  WHEE!  I can do laundry (slowly).

That's about it.  I'm excited about my mani/pedi tomorrow.

Day 9: HALLOWEEEEENNNN!!! Also, one-week checkup... and shower details.

So, I woke up way late today (Mr. Right stayed up all night watching the World Series of Poker but I finally took Valium at 3 am because I couldn't get to sleep).  About 11:30 I was out of bed, and quite miraculously didn't feel the need to take anything for pain : )

SHOWERING:  THE GREAT LONG-DRAWN OUT DETAILS...

My surgery follow-up "1 week" appointment was today so I decided a shower was in order.  I've also decided that today is the day where I'll show you how I get all my stuff ready before I take a shower, so that when I get out, it's there waiting and I have no frustrating "OMG WE'RE OUT OF THE GAUZE I LIKE!" kind of thing happening.

First, I get a clean hand-towel and spread it out on the bathroom vanity.  Our washer has a "sanitary" cycle, so we've been washing the towels in that to be sure and kill any germies we've gotten on them while drying off.  I figure having a "sanitized" surface to lay out gauze on is better then the plain old bathroom counter, because God knows I'm not cleaning that with bleach every day while this surgery recovery is going on.

Then, I start laying out my gauze.  Here's my favorite gauze:

(crap, i forgot to upload the pic.  It's CVS brand "Sterile Gauze Pads" in a "12-ply design".  4x4" (of course, this is measured before you unfold them), 25-count, latex-free.  They are soooo soooooft and they don't stick to you when you try and take them off.

***REMEMBER TO PUT THE GAUZE PICTURE IN HERE LATER***

Each little packet has one giant sheet and one littler sheet.   From one pack, I snip the little sheets in half and fold for nipple coverage (see squares on top left and middle left).    When I place them over my nipple, I place them in a "baseball diamond" orientation, with the corners pointing up and down so that the piece covers the round-the-nipple incision as well as the bottom-o-nipple-to-bottom-o-breast incision.  The longer sheet, I fold over a couple of times lengthwise then cut in half to make a nice cushion for underneath each breast.

From the second pack, I separate the sheets and fold up the smaller one for my belly button, and the long one for my tummy incision.  This way, everything's cut and ready to go once I'm out of the shower and ready to rumble.  Planning is key in avoiding that "I CAN'T DOOOO THIS!" moment.

Remember we're all different, and what worked for me might not work for you.  I'm just here to tell ya how I did it, so you can maybe think in advance : )  This gauze is also really stretchy-- and once you stretch it, it retains the stretched length... which is why I like it for my tummy incision.

Here's my layout:

You'll also want to have your triple-antibiotic ointment, a clean bra, and some tape for the gauze.  The gauze will kinda stick to the ointment, then your bra can hold it in place... but you will need tape.  

I liked this tape the best, because it doesn't stick like its life depends on sticking to you forever.  It comes off easily with makeup remover... and let's face it, this tape is gentle.  Nice and gentle.  Says right there on the package!  If you wanna be really freaking OCD you can cut small pieces of tape in advance too, but I never did, so no gold stars for me.

Don't forget your clean bra (and compression garment if you're a tummy tuck patient).   : )

Next get the shower all ready.  I bought this shower chair at Walgreens for about $40.  Due to my tummy tuck, I never sat on the shower chair, but if I'd only had the breast reduction that might have been a good option for me.  It functioned as a place to put stuff, especially my surgical drains.  Anyway, have someone put the chair into the shower for you, and a washcloth, and your soap/shampoo/facewash/whatever.  Since our shower just has a regular showerhead, I also put a big plastic cup in there for getting water into hard-to-reach places (like under the breast).  Ideally, you'd have one of those showerheads that has a detachable handle but alas, I do not, so big-plastic-tumbler it is!  Don't forget to get your towel too.  For me, a hand-towel worked well for my hair, then I used a regular towel for my body.  With new incisions, ALWAYS use a clean new towel every time you shower! 

Now that everything's in place for the actual shower, I usually close it up and turn the water on so it can get warm while I'm taking off my bra/gauze/garment and all that jazz... I tried to do this on the OTHER side of the sink so I didn't get the old dirty stuff all mixed up with my beautifully laid out new clean stuff.  If you have any trouble with tape sticking/hurting, use some makeup-remover and it should come off.  I Just grabbed the MAC stuff I had in the cabinet, got a little bit on a q-tip, and rubbed until the tape-goo came off.  Some of the stuff they used in the hospital was realllly sticky and I had a hell of a time with it on that really sensitive area betwixt the breast and armpit!

Doc's wife told me that you don't want your shower too hot the first few times, so go in lukewarm and adjust until you're comfortable.  I was scared that water on the incisions would hurt (like when you scrape yourself, and it hurts the first few times water hits it), but for me that wasn't the case.  Even my anti-bacterial soap didn't hurt or burn at all.

Always have someone in the room with you when you're showering, and make sure they're ready to jump in there and get wet if you need sudden help.  If you feel at all like you need help, ask.  Have someone hold you steady if you have to step over the shower threshold.  If you're showering in a bathtub/shower combo, put something anti-slip on the bottom.  You won't know your personal limitations until you're in there, so have a helper.  I was okay by myself, but had my helper wash the part I couldn't reach (my back, my butt, my legs).  I found that instead of getting slippery soap all over my feet, just throwing the washcloth on the floor of the shower and running my feet back and forth over it seemed safer.

Man, I just really felt so relaxed and happy in the shower.  Warm water makes everything all better.

My drains rested happily on the shower chair with my washcloth... this allowed me freedom to move around without the tubes pulling.  My drain tubes are in deed long enough that if they fall tot he ground, they don't tug at the site where they're stitched to my body but this just made me feel more comfy.  It seems like stepping on them in the shower might be inconvenient.  Also, when you're in the shower and everything's slippery, it's a great time to "strip" your drains.  "Strip" means "squeeze all the goo into the bulb".

I'm a big giant fan of the Clarisonic products (I have used the face and body brushes for some time now), so I would run the buzzy brush over my face, then use the body brush on my decolletage, shoulders, and stomach-- careful to avoid sensitive areas, and not going anywhere NEAR my incisions.

It was funny to feel the numb places on my breasts and belly!  I have absolutely no scientific basis but in my mind I just feel like if I use the vibrationy brushes on me it'll stimulate my skin and tissues to heal up.  Crazy cosmetic lady dream sequence complete ; )  Really, it just felt good and was relaxing.

So... all done with shower.  Out, dry hair, dry body from top down.  I used a clean dry washcloth to get my incisions good and dry.  Don't rub too hard, just pat them gently.

I would then begin the ointment-gauze ritual... put ointment on one incision, cover it with gauze.  It's helpful to have a mirror for this if you're annoyingly controlling like I am.  I didn't really want anyone else doing this for me, but I did need to see places like the underside of my breasts, so the mirror was helpful.  Repeat until done with breasts, then put on the bra.  Moving right along, ointment and gauze for tummy, belly button, and drain entry sites.  Suit up in the compression garment, and VOILA!

ALL DONE!  I was usually dying to blow my hair dry at this point, because I'm one of those people with a hair-do that really looks horrid if it isn't blown dry.  I can't do that cool "wrap it up in a clip" thing because it's too short.  Most days, my sweet husband would put lotion on my legs and feet for me post-shower because there just wasn't a way for me to physically do it myself.  Man, I love that guy.

MY ONE WEEK APPOINTMENT!

Pretty uneventful, actually.  I got gowned up, saw Doc, Doc's wife was there too and really excited to see that my breasts were happy and round and healing up beautifully.  I provided my med chart, drain chart, and happily reported to them that I was up and around and hadn't had any meds that day... wasn't really "needing"pain meds.  

Doc's wife suggested that I place something between my drain tubes and my skin so I don't get irritated... for instance, wear a soft tank or camisole tucked into the compression garment, or stick some gauze there.  She's worried about my skin being so sensitive and the tubing causing me to blister.  I hadn't been feeling any discomfort, but definitely took note.

I was told that I don't need to do the ointment/gauze business anymore that I'm sealing up nicely, and should begin using some stuff they gave me in the office called Scarguard MD.  It should help with keeping my scars minimal, wheeee!  It comes in a little bottle that looks like nail polish (as does the brush).  You just brush it on twice a day.  While it smells like wart remover, it doesn't hurt or sting at all... just tickles because of the brush.

We also looked through the compression garment catalog to see if we could find me something with a crotch.  The one I have right now is crotchless, which is really convenient, but the thought of handling a potentially heavy period in a crotchless sort of garment gives me the heebie jeebies, so she's having something sent to me that'll perhaps work a little better when that time rolls around.

HALLOWEEEEEEN!!!!!

All was well!  We left, went to eat (I got a kid's meal at Fuddrucker's... my appetite is not as big since the surgery), then went by Target, and headed home.  I was excited about Halloween and feeling well enough for Trick or Treaters!  At some point, I did go ahead and take a Valium because I was just all-around touchy and obsessing about one of my drain line stitches being really annoying.  I came to the realization that just because you physically CAN go without your meds... it's not necessarily really a badge of honor.  I'm 9 days out from the biggest surgery I've ever had, stitched up with stuff still draining out of me.  It's ok to take something if it's gonna make me more comfortable!  It totally did.  I bet it made Mr. Right more comfortable too.

At home, I put on a poofy black swingy dress (yay!  It hid the drains!) and a bunch of crazy makeup, donned a witch hat, and sat on the front porch in a chair all night oohing and awwing at the little cuties that came up to our door.  Mr. Right was out there with me.  Our kids are big enough to go running around on Halloween with their friends, so we hung out to pass out the candy and watch all the crazy.  Our neighborhood is a crazy fun place on Halloween-- I'm totally glad I took that Valium and loosened up enough to enjoy the night.

Later we had an awesome picnic-in-bed watching Big Bang Theory and eating chicken salad and crackers with a side of fresh fruit and almonds.  I'm trying to pack in all the raw fruit and veggies I can because I really want to give my body what it needs to heal and get on a good path.  I wasn't always amazingly super at eating before, but I have the knowledge of what my body SHOULD eat, so I'm working on using it.  No sense in going through all this just to trash it, man.